Sacred Wanderings

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Kinda feels like a Cinderella story. The one about the shepherd boy secretly anointed King. I can picture him fresh from the field all dirty and sweat-soaked, bent down as the holy Prophet pours sacred oil on his thick auburn hair. The handsome brothers with all their charisma and charm stand around sorta shell-shocked; trying to comprehend that the kid really was picked over them.

“Picked for his heart”, the old Prophet said; a heart after God’s own.

It must have been some heart! It carried that shepherd boy through so much! From outbursts of uninhibited, full-out worship to flights of fear, betrayal, victories that never quite got him to the throne; dark caves and cold nights; depression and loneliness; despair. The feel-good part of his Cinderella story fades fast!

But this unlikely pick held nothing back—didn’t sugar-coat his rocky road. He journaled it in songs, laments and celebrations all mixed together masterfully as his fingers’ flew over harp strings. His music expressed that heart; the one after God’s own. No wonder every despairing ranting meltdown ended in lyrics of hope; confidence in the sovereign plan of a God who sees and knows and loves til it bleeds and beyond. The very God whose heart, his was after.

Finally, after 15 years those impossible words spoken over poured out oil, on a sweaty head, in a backroom, came true! And on that sweet day of deliverance, David sat down with his harp. As music flowed from his fingers, these are the words he sang:

“I love you Lord. You are my strength. The Lord is my rock; my fortress. In my distress I cried out… He heard me from His sanctuary; my cry reached His ears. The earth quaked and trembled; the foundations of the mountains shook… Smoke poured from his nostrils; fierce flames leaped from His mouth. Glowing coals flamed forth from Him. Then He opened the heavens and came down; dark storm clouds were beneath His feet. Mounted on a mighty angel, He flew soaring on the wings of the wind. He shrouded Himself in darkness veiling His approach with dense rain clouds. The brilliance of His presence broke through the clouds, raining down hail and burning coals.

The Lord thundered from heaven; the Most High gave a mighty shout. At the sound of Your command, oh Lord, at the blast of Your breath, the bottom of the sea could be seen, and the foundations of the earth were laid bare. Then He reached down from Heaven and rescued me; He drew me out of deep waters. He delivered me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. They attacked me at a moment when I was weakest, but the Lord upheld me. You rescue those who are humble but You humiliate the proud. Lord, you have brought light to my life; my God, You light up my darkness. He makes me as surefooted as a deer, leading me safely along the mountain heights…. Your right hand supports me, Lord; Your gentleness has made me great.” ~Psalm 18

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Lord Jesus, I haven’t spent 15 years hiding in wilderness caves, but sometimes, I sorta feel like I have. Lift my head here and now—in the middle of the muddle. Captivate me with the mystery of You. You, who open the heavens to come down in earthquakes, smoke, and burning coals. You come with dark storm clouds beneath Your feet as You mount a mighty angel and fly; as You soar on the wings of the wind. Dense rain clouds form but they’re no match for the brilliance of You bursting through. As You come close, I hear Your mighty shout break open the bottom of the sea and the foundations of the earth before You….

And that’s when I feel Your arms; they’ve reached all the way from heaven to where I am. They draw me out of deep water. Your arms deliver me from my powerful overwhelming enemies. From satan, worry, the devastating hurts of others, temptation, fear. Lord, those are the deep waters You draw me from; those are the enemies whose grip You pull me from.

Yes! they attacked at the moment of my weakness, but You, my Lord uphold me. You, Who rescues the humble and humiliate the proud, You, You have brought light to my life. You make me as surefooted as a deer on a mountain cliff. Your right hand supports me, and Jesus, Your gentleness has made me far more than who I am.

Oh, that nothing else would matter, Lord…. Nothing except the beat of Your heart and the breath of Your Spirit blowing through my soul. May all that feels unbearable in my life right now, become lost and found in You. May all I am or ever hope to be, fade into the brilliance of Your splendor. For though You dwell in unfathomable beauty and inapproachable light, you ever live to plead for me.

Lord Jesus, at Your feet I lay every fear. Every joy. Every worry, every grief…..the peaceful easy and the stress-filled heavy–it is ALL Yours, Lord. “For Whom have I in heaven but You? I desire You more than anything on earth. My health may fail and my spirit may grow weak, but God, You remain the strength of my heart; You are mine forever.” My sweet Lord–You are altogether lovely, and ALL my heart desires. (Psalm 73:25-26)

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No matter what is going down in my life, all my todays and every tomorrow are held securely in nail-scarred Hands.

So as I face what is and what is to come. The known. The unknown. I wrap myself in a calm assurance for “… the Lord is always before me. I will not be shaken”. HE turns my rock hard fears and struggles into sponge so JOY can soak in. Every inch of my spirit, soul, and body finds good in the nearness of HIM. I have no good, apart from HIM”.

Day by day His unseen hands direct me. His unheard words speak to me. They’re everywhere and every moment all around and deep within relentlessly orchestrating my life—sending the supernatural wrapped in the ordinary and the everyday. He’s why I happen upon the perfect verse after an anxious prayer. He’s the one who sends a song to awaken my soul as only music can. He speaks in strong solid sermon words as much as in words soft-spoken by a simple saint. I can hear Him in steady rain and feel Him in a clear blue autumn sky. He’s present in my child’s prayer and my husband’s love. He’s there in the sunshine between sidewalk shadows, an old hymn sung like new and a coffee-sipping window view on a gloomy blustery day.

I see and touch and taste and feel my Lord Jesus in all these good gifts. They pull me to Him as He calls me to a pilgrim life of listening. Trusting. Day by day following His Word and His heart. Ever anticipating the sovereign mystery as it continually unfolds.

Then someday Lord, someday, when all this unfolding of my life turns the bend toward HOME, when unworthiness is swallowed up in grace and I gaze into Your eyes, touch Your nail-pierced hand; feel Your full embrace.

May I? Dare I ask?

“Can I mount a mighty angel with You, Lord? Can we soar together on the wings of the wind?”

My sister, if you read this post weary worn with the weight of the world on your shoulders, I pray you’ve been refreshed by the words, the promises of the ONE who really loves you and is ever with you. And maybe, you’ll join me in a secret dream—the dream of someday soaring on the wings of the wind with the One who will surely bring us safely to His side…. Hallelujah!